How did I get to this place?

I like to get up a little while before the kids and have some quiet time.  I know for some of us it's quiet time before God, but for me if I didn't have these e-mail devotionals sent to me it wouldn't be about that at all.  I'm not very good at maintaining relationships.  I try, but when it seems like it is all my effort I give up and chalk it up to they weren't interested.  But, with God it really can't be that way for me.  I know in my heart He is interested in me, but I have to maintain the relationship. These little messages in my inbox help me to stay focused on my relationship with God.

Yesterday's devotion asked you to recall the ways God has brought me into the place in my relationship with Him.  As I pondered that question, all of could think of was God's desire for me.  You see, my parents did not really bring God into my life for me.  I wasn't raised that way.  My mother is Christmas and Easter Christian and my father was a Passover Jew.  Religion was really only fought over in our home.  And because it really wasn't an important part of either one of their lives, it really wasn't important to me.

When I was 9 years old my parents separated for the last time and this time their marriage was truly over.  I remember the night my dad kneeled by my beside to tell me he was not going to be living with us any more like it was yesterday.  That is the first time I remember coming before God and asking Him to help, to make things right and to change my parents hearts.  I'm not sure I really knew who God was, but I had been reading Judy Blume's "Are You There God, It's Me Margaret?"

 Things progressed with my parents divorce and I don't remember God coming through to make things right, so I guess I just gave up.

When I was 13, my cousins were going to a youth group at the church in town and they asked me if I wanted to come along.  So, I did.  At church they talked about this Jesus who loves us.  I wanted to be loved....and at the time I was doing all kinds of things to find love that were not exactly good.  I was very interested in this love that Jesus could give me.  After about a year of going to youth group and getting more and more involved the leader invited me to a bible study.  At that bible study, I remember the leader, Mike Badger asking each kid if they really knew Jesus and if we wanted to invite him into our hearts.  At first it was a little awkward as I watched him go to each kid and look them in the eye with sincere love for them.  When it was my turn, I felt it.  I felt my need for Jesus.  It still amazes me that God wanted me, even though I was so broken.

That is the beginning of how I got to this place.  There are so many more steps on my staircase, and many more to come.  I am so thankful for my twin cousins for inviting me to that church youth group and ultimately helping God find me.

Here's a picture of many of the people who helped me get to the place where I am at now!
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